I am not very close with my father. As a kid, I cannot remember any moments that I had a quality time or let say having fun when he was around. It’s as if hearing his voice would bring me discomfort. I always had that uncomfortable feeling when he was near me.
He is the very strict kind of father, his words are laws and no one could ever argue him and tell him in the face that he was wrong not even my mother.
He’s one of the persons who live by the rule;
Rule #1, I am always right.
Rule #2, if I am wrong see Rule #1.
I envy my childhood neighbors and friends, Jun Jun and Tong Tong when Tiyoy Mode’ (the Father) would play with them as if they were playing buddies or when Eman and Nene go to the market with their father holding hands together.
My father is the least affectionate person in the world, a trait that somehow I have gotten from him. The only person I can remember that he actually shown his affection with when we were kids, is our youngest sister.
I always keep my distance to him to point that we were not talking. The only time I would utter a word is when someone or my mother would relay a message to him and that nobody except me is available at that time who could deliver the task.
Very funny because we were exactly of the same character; strong-willed, stubborn, a know-it-all bitch and kind of a bigot. Sometimes I would make fun of it, maybe father less like me because he can’t stand seeing himself to me. I mean he himself is a horror what more of another one (lol).
In moments of solitude, I’ll keep asking myself. How would be my life if ever I have a close ties with my father? Will I be like the others who would call him my daddy, my hero? Would life be easier for me?
Every time I hear songs that talk about the father, I can’t help myself but to pause for a minute and stare the infinite nothingness while savoring the lyrics of the song.
Perfect by Simple Plan is one:
While my Father always in silence, I knew deep within his heart somehow he is proud of me. And why not, of the five of us, I am the one who would frequently bring honor to our family by making it sure that our family name be heard from as far as the next town in terms of academic achievements (ehem).
After my high school, I went straight to Manila to pursue my college. For at least eight years, I never went home since my mother and my sisters would visit me from time to time.
A visits that would always end-up convincing me to come home because according to them father is waiting and want to see me. I knew it was a lie; my father is not the type of person who would swallow his ego even deep inside his heart he wants it to. But I also knew from the fact, that he really wants to see me and that he was missing me. I am his replicate, and I feel the same way.
Father and Son:
It takes years to convince me; but grudges heal itself, only it takes time.
Then one day, I announced to my mother and my sisters that I will be coming home on the Christmas. And that instant I can feel the excitement as if angels rejoicing with my mother, and that she merrily announced to our neighborhood and my high school friends that I will be coming home - informed my sister.
On the day I was waiting for my departure to my home sweet home my sister who’s been working abroad sent me a message saying “Welcome home, bro”.
It almost bring me to tears because I knew very well, what she meant was a thank you for making our family whole again. I am the broken pieces that for years they were trying very hard to fix.
As I busied myself watching passengers of different ages, different scenes and questions coming to my mind; how would be my reaction upon seeing my father? Do I have to hug him? Isn’t it awkward for a person that hates drama and never vocal about his feelings?
Then Luther Vandross song, Dance with my Father keeps on penetrating my senses. I imagined him lifting me high before my innocence (lol) and would dance with my mother. How cute that would be?
Dance with my Father
After that moment, I religiously paid them a visit once or twice every year and they’re happy about it. I have now a good relationship with my father to the joy of my wonder mom.
Given a chance to be born again and choose who will be my Father this time? Without a doubt I would still choose my father. And I’ll make sure this time I’ll be the one who will make the move to be friend with him.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, TATAY!
During those times when I was alone, comic books were my friends and I started to love the character of Iceman of the X-MEN because of the similarity between him and his daddy.
I had actually written a very mediocre poem about them, it’s a trying hard one lol.
Father N Son
I remember yesterday
It was joy and we were happy
From day in to day out
Nothing but laughter and a shout
I was a kid then!
And you look at me as your dream
You strive harder
And never bother your pain
From dawn till dusk
You were - but doin' your task
Trying to be a good father
That I could look up to - forever.
Those were the days!
Worth to be reminisce
Days, months and years passed by
And the old good days was only but a try
Here comes the day
That you unfold the reality
I am a MUTANT
And you condemned me.
You felt betrayed
And your world seemed astray
Your love turned to hate
And you made me to evaporate
For now, I'll go away
Perhaps find my way
But I'll prove to you
That you're wrong about me.
has its own story to tell, ikaw ano ang kwentong alamat mo?